


that's where we meet

by wholesome_gay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baby Harry Potter, Birthday, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, POV Remus Lupin, Parenthood, Raising Harry Potter, References to Depression, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23844055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wholesome_gay/pseuds/wholesome_gay
Summary: It's Harry's first birthday with Remus and Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 27
Kudos: 281





	that's where we meet

**Author's Note:**

> Brandi, I hope you like this! Sorry it took so long!!
> 
> Title from the lyrics to the Sesame Street theme song lol.

Tomorrow is Harry's second birthday. Remus has just finished wrapping his gifts. He hides them under the bed that belongs to him and Sirius. He and Harry are at the park, probably feeding the ducks with bits of bread from the sandwiches Remus packed for them.

Remus sits on the edge of the bed and rubs his eyes. Sirius is excited about Harry's birthday, but Remus has mixed feelings. In a few days from now, they will have been Harry's caretakers for nine months. This - a family - is not something Remus ever thought he could have. The life he lives now brings him so much joy, but he would give anything for James and Lily to be here with Harry instead. Anything. They should be the ones celebrating Harry's second birthday. They should be caring for him and watching him learn and grow with each passing day. He's known from a very young age that the world is not a fair place, but this is the greatest injustice he's witnessed. The grief sits with him always.

For Sirius, it comes in waves. He'll be fine for a week or two, then Remus will come home from work and find Sirius curled on his side in bed, a photo from James' and Lily's wedding in his shaking hands.

Remus wonders if Harry even remembers his parents.

* * *

"Ducks," Harry tells Remus solemnly upon his return. 

"You fed the ducks at the lake?" Remus asks, sitting Harry on the step outside the front door to take off his muddy little shoes.

"Pa'foot chase ducks!"

"Did he." Sirius is already inside, in the shower. Remus will have to have a word with him later. Even though Sirius (probably) made sure not to let any Muggles see him transform, he likely hadn't considered how it would look to an outsider: a toddler all alone but for a large dog.

"Telly?" Harry asks as they step into the flat and shut the front door.

"Alright, but when Padfoot is done with his shower you'll have to take a bath."

Harry is already sitting in front of the television looking at Remus expectantly. 

Sirius has charmed the television to play Harry's favorite program, Sesame Street, on a loop when the dials are turned just so. Remus sets it up and moves Harry farther away from the screen. Harry sings along with the theme song, not quite matching the words but managing the melody.

By the time Remus is done washing the dishes from lunch, Sirius is out of the shower and has dripped all along the hallway. Remus makes his way to their bedroom. Sirius is sitting on their bed wearing a fresh, non-muddy outfit and squeezing his hair dry with a towel.

“Hey, love,” he says, reaching for Remus. Remus lets Sirius pull him into a kiss. He is not deterred for long, though.

“A little bird told me that you left Harry alone at the park with a big, black dog.”

“What?” Sirius looks confused.

“Harry said Padfoot was chasing ducks,” Remus admonishes, hanging Sirius’s towel on the hook on the door. Someone has to be the adult in this house, even if neither of them really feel like they are.

“Well, yes. But in human form.”

Remus huffs a laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Don’t act as if you didn’t already know that,” Sirius replies. He slaps Remus’s arse on his way out of the room. 

This has been one of Sirius’s good weeks, but Remus is always on guard for a bad day. Sometimes one bad day turns into four or five. When that happens, Remus takes Harry to stay with his parents. Hope and Lyall love Harry, and after the first time Remus handed Harry off, anxious about the separation to an absurd degree, it’s actually been a relief to not have to mind a child for a bit. Not that Remus doesn’t miss him, anyway. But when Sirius takes to lying in bed all day, it’s easier for Remus not to have to care for Harry on his own.

His mum thinks that Sirius ought to see a psychologist. Remus hasn’t suggested this to Sirius yet; he thinks Sirius would be skeptical about a Muggle doctor’s ability to improve his state of mind. Hope was shocked that the wizarding world does not have therapists; she thinks it’s rather backwards, and Remus has to agree.

* * *

Remus is sitting in the chair next to Harry’s crib, book in hand. “Okay, Harry,” Remus says, closing Frog and Toad. “It’s time for bed.”

“No!” Harry cries. 

This is always the hardest part of the day.

Sirius, leaning on the railing of the other side of the crib, hands Harry his stuffed Hippogriff. “Hippo wants to go to sleep with you.”

Harry takes Hippo, but sticks out his bottom lip. “No.”

“Yes, love. You’ve got to sleep so you can grow big and strong.” Remus brushes Harry’s hair away from his eyes. He’ll need a haircut soon.

“Don’t wanna,” Harry says, little hands in fists.

“Sorry, darling, but you’ve got no choice.” Sirius gives Harry a hug that Harry wriggles out of.

Remus gets up and turns off the light.

“No!” Harry shouts. “Moony don’t go!”

Remus has to fight his instinct to stay. It makes his chest ache. “Goodnight, Harry. We love you.”

Sirius joins Remus in the doorway.

“Pa’foot!” Harry wails. 

“Goodnight,” Sirius says quietly.

Remus steps away from the doorway. Sirius closes the door three-quarters of the way.

Harry cries and cries. He’d been sleeping in their bed until about four months ago, when Remus’s mother insisted that Harry needed his own space and to start learning independence.

Sirius looks at Remus, expression mirroring the way Remus feels. “Do you think this will ever get easier?”

Remus isn’t sure if Sirius means for them or for Harry. “One day, he won’t even want us to read him bedtime stories.”

Sirius leans into Remus, pressing his face into his neck, and sighs.

* * *

Sirius is already up and, by the sound of it, making breakfast by the time Remus wakes up. Remus wonders if he’s told Harry about his birthday yet. They’d decided to celebrate the occasion with just the three of them, rather than inviting Remus’s parents or Augusta Longbottom and her grandson, whose birthday was yesterday. Harry tends to get overwhelmed when too many people are around. Honestly, Remus doesn’t blame him.

When Remus walks into the kitchen, Harry is in his highchair, stuffing his face with bacon. He holds out his greasy little hand, offering a piece to Remus. 

“No thank you,” Remus says, and kisses the top of Harry’s head.

“Morning,” Sirius says, patting the chair next to him. A plate loaded with scrambled eggs, bacon, and buttered toast waits at Remus’s place on the table.

Remus sits down and gives Sirius a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, love.” When they first moved in together, Sirius couldn’t be trusted to prepare an edible meal, but his culinary skills have long since surpassed Remus’s. “So. Does he know yet?”

“‘Course not. I was waiting for you,” Sirius says, grinning. 

After breakfast, after Remus has cleaned up the dishes and Sirius has wiped the food remains off of Harry’s face and hands, Remus sits Harry on his lap in the living room.

“Telly?” Harry says hopefully.

“No, we’re going to do something even more fun, actually.”

Sirius hovers Harry’s assortment of gifts into the room, where they arrange themselves into a neat pile in front of Harry. 

Harry leans toward the presents. 

“It’s your birthday today,” Sirius says brightly, sitting next to them. 

“Birfay?”

“Yes, birthday. You’re two years old and all of these presents are for you,” Remus explains.

Harry claps his hands delightedly. “Pwesants!” he squeals. 

Sirius passes Harry the gift on top of the pile. 

Harry makes short work of the wrapping paper, then hesitates when he sees what’s within. “Wand?” Harry knows not to touch Remus’s or Sirius’s wand.

“This wand is for you,” Remus tells him. 

“Go ahead and wave it!” Sirius adds.

Harry does. Brightly colored bubbles emerge from the end. Harry giggles and pops as many of the bubbles as he can reach. Each bubble makes a pleasant chime when it bursts. 

Among the other gifts are a stuffed dragon that becomes warm when hugged, a toy motorcycle, wooden building blocks, and lots of picture books (some with little enchantments, others the regular Muggle kind).

Harry is currently sitting on the floor, occupied with smooshing together pink and yellow Play-Doh. Remus thinks they’ve done well, and he turns to Sirius to say so. Tears are running down Sirius’s cheeks. 

“I wish they were here,” Sirius says, not taking his eyes off of Harry.

Remus takes Sirius’s hand and squeezes it. “I know. Me too.” He bites the inside of his cheek, trying not to cry.

Harry looks up at them suddenly. “Pa’foot sad?” Before either of them can answer, Harry comes over and crawls up onto the couch to throw his arms around Sirius’s neck. “No sad. Love you!” Harry exclaims.

Remus blinks away the tears in his eyes.

“Love you too,” Sirius says hoarsely, hugging Harry and still holding Remus’s hand. His eyes meet Remus’s, and he mouths “I love you.”

Remus knows that he means it, and that he’s also saying _I love the people we’ve lost. I love this life that we’re not supposed to have._ Remus lets go of Sirius’s hand to put his arms around both of them, unable to find words to express the grief and the gratitude that he feels equally in every fiber of his being.

“Happy birthday,” he whispers to Harry.

**Author's Note:**

> The wonderful art is by @fuckyeahbrandicorn on Tumblr!


End file.
